


Too deep

by Lelline



Series: For the love of Jack [6]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Everything Hurts, Friends With Benefits, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Sad, Unrequited Love, mini fix it added, painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5142107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lelline/pseuds/Lelline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack fell for them all with everything he had.<br/>And there was nothing there to catch him before he just crashed down hard. There was nothing to save him when the inevitable happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

People made many assumptions about Jack based on his appearance.  
He knew how he looked and how he seemed. Most people got the impression that he was some benign guy, like he was just a regular guy tossed in with the AH Crew who couldn't pull his own weight. In their eyes he was the one who wouldn’t take risks, he wasn’t able to needlessly waste lives or make stupid choices. Jack was fine with being the most reliable one of their group, for being the one who would keep a level head and get them all out alive.  
He wasn’t smart. If he was smart he would have left long ago, left before he could get tied down so strongly to the world’s dumbest criminals.  
Though most days, he felt like he was dumbest of them all.

Jack had fallen in love with them all in a slow, hard burn that made him feel like a forgotten pot on a stove. He hadn’t realized how much he had started to care for them until he had already started to burn along the edges and now his insides were charred, just waiting for someone to notice his plight and either turn off the burner or just simply throw Jack away. There was no repairing things, there was no happy answer.  
Jack was in love with his five best friends. He was in love with Geoff, their charismatic leader with his insane ideas and his ability to pull things together. He loved the man’s fire, his tenacity, and even his oddball style. Ryan was too easy to love, a mix of danger, wit and charm wrapped up with a dorky sense of humor. Ray was simple but perfect, a little inverted and a little self depreciating, but he could say the most asshole things and get away with it, and in many ways he represented the fun of youth, making Jack laugh like he had as a teen. Michael was all passion and strength, overwhelming the senses but making Jack feel like they were safe. Gavin was innocence and wisdom, skill and mistakes, and he was the kind of chaos that made their lives interesting.  
He had fell for them years ago. It hadn’t happened all at once, since he had probably loved Geoff from the start…  
It had been the day after a heist when he had realized he had lost his heart. By then, the three younger ‘lads’ had been figuring out some weird arrangement between them and Geoff and Ryan had already begun to fuck off their frustrations after failed heists.  
They’d stayed in a old cabin in the woods beside a lake, and Jack had found somewhere quiet to fish, just out of earshot of the others.  
He could see them all though down the shore, Michael and Gavin trying to convince Geoff into the water while Ryan fiddled with their jet ski and Ray played his game on a lawnchair, trying to pretend he wasn’t surrounded by the dreaded outdoors.  
As Jack cast out his line, he realized his chest felt hollowed out. He realized with a start that his heart’s latest flutterings had gone too far. He was in love with five different men, men who would never be capable of loving him back. Fish forgotten, he just stood out on the shore, telling himself to pull back. He could try dating again, try a brief vacation somewhere exotic, or even just leave the crew completely.  
Jack couldn’t do it though.  
He couldn’t stay away from them. Some days he just wanted to wrap himself in their presence and others he wanted to hold them so badly that it hurt. He felt adrift, so in love and so heartbroken in so many different ways.  
And the arrangements between them all grew.  
None of them were lovers. None of them were affectionate. He had walked in on them all even in the early days, and at no time did any of them kiss, at no time was it about their union.  
It was sex between friends. It was another way for the crew to bond together.  
Jack had been invited in as an afterthought one day, Geoff having already invited Gavin and Michael to his bed and giving Jack a leer. “You know you could join us if you wanted to Jack. The more the merrier”  
Jack wondered if it had been a joke, or if it had just been an attempt to finish the group. The bearded man had been the last piece of the crew, and had been left out of their activities before that. On some of his worst days, when Jack can be alone with a bottle of alcohol and lose himself to his grief, he asks himself if any of them wanted him. He was a part of the group, a part of the group with a thick waist, average looks, and thinning hair. He knew he wasn’t ugly, he knew he had his charms, but he wasn’t young and he didn’t have the same sparks of fire that Ryan and Geoff had.  
There was no doubt that if he pulled away, if he asked for a break from the sex that they would just continue without him. He knew if he ever told any of them that he cared more than he should, that he wanted to kiss them so badly it hurt, that he would be pushed away and left behind.  
A piece of his soul broke off every time he touched them though. His soul cried when there was no time lost after orgasm, everyone pulling away and going to clean up and forget things happened.  
He made the stupid choice to stay. He risked his heart in a bet he knew he’d lose.

Lindsay burned just as bright as Michael.  
Lindsay made Michael’s eyes light up every time they were close. He spoke softly to her sometimes, sharing secrets and sharing his life so thoroughly with her that it was just a matter of time before he either asked her out or just admitted they were already dating. Michael never shared his bed with the others anymore, shaking his head whenever it was offered.  
And then Geoff’s ex Griffon showed up, the blonde just as volatile and offbeat as Geoff, but in such a loyal way. She had tried to ask Jack about his love life, mentioning an australian woman she knew.  
Geoff started to pull away from it all, and Jack couldn’t bear to sleep with any of them for two days after, feeling too raw and shattered. He wanted to pull the three remaining men in close, wanted to sob into someone’s chest and have them tell him lies. He wanted to hear they loved him, even though he knew they would never mean it.  
He started to gain weight, started to get a little sloppier with himself until he realized it would affect his ability to keep up with the others. He tried to clean his act up a little.  
At his lowest point, he went out and got himself a hooker. He got some big breasted vixen, knowing no one fault him for wanting a change of pace. He paid her extra not to tell anyone all he’d asked of her was a night of cuddling and for her to tell him he was loved.

He was fine with being the one who kept them ali. But that proved itself to be a lie just as much as the rest.  
Jack had been dangling on a thread, loving them too strongly and never admitting to himself he could lose any of them.  
Ray had died in Jack’s arms just feet from the bank, face torn up by bullets and blood everywhere.  
Jack had died too. His body kept going, lifting the limp form and taking it with him, carrying it to their getaway car as if the bulletproof glass could repel bullets already buried in flesh. He set Ray down on the seat and then just crumpled to the pavement, almost hoping the pain in his chest was bullet wounds.  
The others were there, the others were horrified and broken, but not shattered. Ryan passed Jack, going to kill whatever cops he could find. Gavin was retching out onto the curb. Geoff was cursing up a storm and Michael was just shocked.

Jack left the crew after the funeral.  
It was almost a relief, stepping away from those he loved, stepping away from those who had never loved him.  
He didn’t answer their calls, he changed his address and didn’t check his mailbox, knowing one day he would get invitations to weddings he would not survive.  
Jack had to be smart now. Jack had to be the kind of guy that did not take risks, waste lives, or make stupid choices.  
He lived the lie until it felt true. But he still barely held himself together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick fix it

Ryan had fallen for Jack the day of their first heist.  
They’d prepared for hours over it, plotting out every move down to the last detail. Geoff and Gavin had filled two notepads up with the logistics of it all.  
Nothing went to plan  
Ray had spotted their target, an armoured truck, coming up the road, and Gavin had been tasked with signalling Michael that it was coming.  
Jack and Ryan had been on the sidelines, ready to strike as soon as the truck was incapacitated. Jack had adjusted his grip on his pistol, obviously nervous, and Ryan had wondered if the near stranger had the balls to go up against the armed guards. He’d heard rumors about the crew, especially about Geoff and Michael, but Jack seemed the least dangerous.  
However, it was Gavin who fumbled, tripping up on his way over to Michael. The brit crashed into the redhead, and Michael had detonated the charges too early. Not only had they failed to get the truck, but the noise tipped them off and suddenly they were changing lanes and headed on another route.  
Jack had just let out a laugh at the sight, then tugged on Ryan’s sleeve. “Come on. Lets just do this the old fashioned way.”  
Ryan had been confused, but had climbed into Jack’s car, not expecting the chase and explosions that had followed.  
No one seemed aware of how badass Jack was. No one seemed to notice how he held the others up, letting them take all the glory while he kept them safe.  
Jack was the best driver. Jack always had an eye out for danger. Jack always kept a level head.  
The happiest day of Ryan’s life was the first time he could touch Jack. The man had been eager and passionate, even with their strange little house rules of no kisses. It had been hard to resist at first, but he did not want to ruin what they had.  
It had been obvious from the start that Jack loved them. And Ryan had to admit, he could see why when it came to the others. It hadn’t been until that first night that Ryan realized Jack loved him as well, and that had nearly been Ryan’s undoing.  
He thought about asking Jack to be more. He thought about pulling the bearded man in for kisses and just telling the others to fuck off and to let them be real. It was obvious Geoff and Michael were just fooling around anyways, both on the straighter end of the spectrum and only into their arrangement for the free blowjobs. But Gavin, Gavin looked at them all sometimes like they hung the moon. Gavin had fallen for Jack the same time Jack had, and while the brit fumbled through trying not to let Jack catch on to his love, Ryan realized he would gladly take Gavin in as well. He’d grown a soft spot for the brit.  
Then there was Ray.  
Ryan had been unable to tell how seriously Ray took their arrangement, and his constant humor hid his opinions on everything.  
So Ryan had confronted the other man one day before a heist.  
“Ray. Do you ever want anything more than our arrangement?” The man had asked as he helped Ray assemble a rocket launcher.  
“Why?” The puerto rican had shrugged. “What would the point be?” A self depreciating smile crossed the younger man’s face and Ryan wanted to just kiss it away.  
An hour later Jack was falling apart over Ray’s body. Ryan went to kill whoever had caused the pain on Jack’s face, unable to listen to Jack and Gavin falling apart.  
A week later Jack was gone.  
Ryan waited patiently, expecting the man to return at the next heist, at the next territory war, at Geoff’s wedding, at Michael’s wedding…  
He and Gavin had never discussed things, but they had become something more in the meantime. Without the others acting as a buffer, they had soon began to do more than just passionless fucking. Gavin was a clingy man, he kissed with passion but without skill. His eyes always softened when they talked about Jack…  
And after six months, Ryan had enough and dragged the other man into a plane.

The Jack that opened the door was fragile and delicate. He had inhaled sharply at the sight of them, his face closing off. He looked scared.  
Ryan grabbed his face and pulled him in with a wordless noise. Jack went boneless at the first touch, the man practically swooning into Ryan. And he was fine with that, it was high time someone took care of Jack.  
He and Gavin would be happy to step up and do it.


End file.
